Previously, I presented Proverbs 5 as God’s design for husbands to make sense of sexual temptation in marriage, and to further discover effective antidotes to prevent empowering the sexual temptation experience. God’s design is to empower a man’s experience of his wife, thereby disempowering the experience of sexual temptation. A husband needs to choose to rejoice in, be satisfied by, and be captivated by his wife, exclusively. Wives are designed to thrive in a context of knowing their husbands are making these choices. A fourth design parameter to consider comes from 1 Peter 3:7 where we find a verse stating ‘Husbands, be considerate as you live with your wives.’
Many of us husbands would see ourselves as considerate. We think we are generally kind to our wives. And, many wives would agree. I would like to add a layer of depth to the idea to being considerate. It’s one thing for me to behave in ways that I believe are considerate, but it may be very different to discover in what ways my wife would want me to be considerate. She may want me to be considerate of her self-consciousness of some aspect of her body, of her desire for daily alone time, or of some peculiarity of hers. Often these considerations seem minor, resulting in a wife not requesting them. If God’s design states that husbands are to be considerate, then he must have designed wives to thrive in an environment of their husband’s consideration. Thus, these considerations are not minor. Husbands let’s step out in vulnerability and ask our wives what they would want us to be considerate of. Then, let’s follow up with behaviors that demonstrate that consideration.
I believe that when husbands practice the choice of being considerate of their wives the repeated experience itself and the wife’s response to it empowers the experience of captivation and disempowers sexual temptations. God designed our relationships for success. A wife who knows that her husband has a focus on being considerate will likely have a positive response.